Dear Beloveds,
Getting brain damage was probably the best thing to ever happen to me. Stay with me here...I grew up with a near-eidetic memory, able to pull up exact details of conversations and to picture pages I had read. Arguments with me were not fun, because I knew exactly what you said, word for word. I knew what color shirt you were wearing and where you were standing when you said it. I knew I was right, because I could play it back in my mind like a movie. I was always right. And then, in my 30s, I was in a bad car accident and suffered a traumatic brain injury. Suddenly, that foolproof memory wasn't so foolproof anymore. My brain would pull up the wrong memory, or pull up nothing at all. My sureness about being right was gone. At first, it was really upsetting. And then I started noticing something important: when I was less attached to being right all the time, I could see how others were right, too. There was more than one right answer. This was a life-shattering revelation! You mean all this time, when I was so certain I was right, the other beloved in the conversation was right, too? Perhaps they were basing their side of the story in a different narrative, honoring a different value or prioritizing a different outcome, and from their perspective THEY WERE RIGHT! This awareness changed everything about the way I do relationships.
Now I have a saying: There are a million right ways to do it. It's so true -- there are a million right ways to write a song, or comfort a friend, or play with a child. There are a million right ways to love your partner, or regulate your emotions, or connect with Spirit. We are all going to encounter bumps in the road in our relationships, messiness and arguments. It's a part of being human. But when we open up to the idea that everyone's perspective has value, it's a lot easier to find that sweet space of love and mutual respect. That's what we'll be exploring this Sunday. Whether we're considering our romantic partners, family members or friends, that space of respect makes it possible to traverse challenges and be able to say, "And We're Still Together."
Much love,
Rev. Lezli
